What do I have to do to make you believe that I don’t have any sort of inclination whatsoever to cheat on you? I know that your exes were shitty people, but I’m not the same person as they are. You say I’m better so I should want to cheat more since you’ll be gone for so long. That doesn’t even make sense. Okay, I’ll admit that I’m pretty. I’m not one of those prissy girls who is up their own ass about how gorgeous they are, but I’m also not one of those self-hating bitches who just refuses to believe she has any aesthetic value in life, but I’m no goddess. I’m not very slim, I’ve got some crooked teeth, my ears, hands, and feet are too small, I have a huge butt, I’m too muscular, I’m pale in all the wrong places, the list goes on. I’m not a gem in my personality either. I’m fucking weird, and I will always be the first to admit that. I have a witch laugh, I make weird faces, I say weird things all the time, I randomly burst into song, I do and say creepy things a lot, I make fun of people all the time, and I have foul language. I know there are a lot of good things about me, but my point is that I am far from perfect. I can’t just go out there and pick whatever male specimen I want and have my way with him, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t even think of it. I love you and only you. It is a privilege to kiss me, and one I don’t give out easily. I give it to only one person, and it’s you. You’re the only one I will be with as long as you will lay claim to me. Whether 10 or 100 miles lay in between us, I am only yours. I love you so much that it hurts. But, I only have to wait 70 more days until I get to see your smile, the one that I love where your tooth gets caught on your lip, the one that’s goofy, and adorable, and lovable, and all mine. I want to be with you for the rest of my life, and I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes. 70 days.

So I know you’ve only been gone for a few days, but I already miss you so much. I miss laying with you for hours on end. I miss sneaking kisses with you in the elevator. I miss you picking me flowers and sticking them in my hair. I miss your smell. I miss your spontaneous hugs. I miss you surprising me and picking me up when I’m having a bad day. I miss falling asleep with you, and having you be the last person I see when I go to sleep, and the first person I see when I wake up. I miss your goofy smile. I miss you kissing my belly no matter how much I protest. I miss you calling me weird when I do weird things. I miss watching River Monsters and Family Guy and American Dad with you on netflix while we cuddle. I miss you wiping my tears when I’m upset, and calling me beautiful when there are black mascara teas running all down my face. I miss you randomly getting up in the middle of watching tv to play your tuba. But mostly, I miss you. If it were for anything but Drum Corps, I would have begged you to stay. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was drive away from that airport, tears running down my face, knowing that I won’t be seeing you again for another three months. I know that isn’t really too long, but already it feels like a lifetime. I love you sir, with all my heart. And I’ll wait for you as long as it takes. You’re my world, and I wouldn’t give up what we have for anything. You are by far, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I will do anything in my power to keep you for the rest of my life. I love you, and that’s all I have to say about that.

No matter what anyone tells me, I will always believe that I’m not good enough.

mygreaterperhaps asked: Nope, did you? :)

Not yet. I’m freaking out inside lol.

Ffcc championships, here we come! Everyone should hang around and make sure to be in the gym at exactly 4:02. Marcata is going to be taking first tonight. ;D

kaitlynlulu asked: You're in Marcata!?!?! That's awesome! I was really hoping to audition next year if the program was going to continue, I know its the first year and all! Good luck this weekend, I wish I could stay and watch you guys but my guard is leaving Saturday night

Yes, yes I am. :) Thanks, you really should audition next year, as we will definitely be continuing. It sucks that you won’t be able to be there, but our show, albeit we changed quite a bit of it, is now up on youtube, just look up Marcata Red 2011 and it should come up. :) Please spread the word about us to anyone you might now. We could really use some support. :) What guard do you perform with?

I know I’ve been a bit absent as of late, but I’ll be posting more again soon. FFCC championships are this weekend and I’ve been supermegaULTRAbusy with my winterguard. If you’ll be there in Daytona on April 1st, keep an eye out for Marcata in Independent A. We’ll try our best to watch you.  ;) 

On another note, I think I might start uploading pictures of some of my art. Any thoughts? Ideas? Comments? Requests for personal pieces (I will do requests)?